Thoughts on Easter

Well Easter is coming in just a couple weeks and I had prepared to do a little baking activity about how to teach your small children about Christ's resurrection. However, my "Resurrection Rolls" did not turn out too good and I did not feel they were worthy of your viewing. Instead I have decided to share something very personal with you and I pray you bear with me.

This Easter season has been very difficult for my family. I just waved goodbye to my husband and sweet kids as they head out for the weekend to say farewell to a beloved Grandmother and Great Grandmother.

This photo was taken just days before dear Joanne was taken from this world suddenly due to cancer.

Not even two weeks ago did I say kiss my family goodbye as I flew up north to say farewell to my sweet 19 year old cousin, who was unable to win his battle against drugs and was taken from this earth too soon due to drug related causes.

This photo was taken 2 1/2 years ago on Fourth of July

Death is very painful...It does not feel natural for a loved one to be taken from us....It should not feel natural!  Because we were not created for death. So we rage against it, I rage against it. And then I take comfort in the promises of God, that even though sin and death have entered this world Jesus has made a way for us by dying on the cross  in our place so that we may live as His child eternally in heaven... 

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” 

John 16:33

And it is not enough that Jesus just died, but he also ROSE from the grave and conquered death! And this is why we celebrate EASTER!! Because even though there is pain and suffering, and even though my dearest loved ones died, both of them believed in what Christ did for them and both of them have found relief from their afflictions in the arms of Christ. DEATH HAS LOST IT'S STING!! 

This post has been difficult for me to write and feel there is so much I want to say but have no words to say them. As I sit here in tears (of sorrow and of joy) I think of these lyrics to one of my favorite Easter songs:

"Oh Death, where is your sting? Oh Hell, where is your victory? Oh Church come stand in the Light. The glory of God has defeated the night. Oh Death, where is your sting? Oh Hell, where is your victory? Oh Church come stand in the Light. Our God is not dead He's Alive, He's Alive!!"

I appreciate all you readers who I just bore a bit of my soul too. I want you to know that I would not have done so if I did not feel like you were all my friends. I love this community and I am grateful for all of you.

xo - Christie

 

And so I am in California...

And I thought I wouldn't be writing any more traveling posts for a while  Well, as it turns out I must be crazy and I decided to do it again.  With both boys.  By myself.  International flight.  Why don't we back up a bit, it's kinda a cool story...

So it's Tuesday evening in France which is Tuesday morning in LA.  I decided to call my dear, dear cousin to wish her well on her wedding this weekend.  This is kind of a bittersweet situation because I love her so much and cannot wait for her to marry her man.  And yet on the flip side I am here in France and only get to see pictures when they are loaded on Facebook.  Talk about a bummer.

So as Marissa and I are chatting, I texted my husband, "Oh, man. I really wish I could have gone to this wedding."  I think subconsciously I was hoping he would text me back saying, "There's still time, Babe. Let's get you a ticket!!" However, my husband, being the ever-so-practical man that he is texted back saying, "I told you we could have tried if you wanted to."  Past tense.  Dang it.  It looks like my chance has passed.  So I wished Marissa well trying to accurately express how much I wanted to be there without making her feel bad that I wasn't.  I think she was doing the same thing.

I hung up the phone and tried to get a hold of myself.  I have a very large, very close-knit family and it physically hurts when I have to miss important things like weddings and babies being born.  (I missed my niece being born a few weeks ago.)  However, I didn't want to express this emotion to my husband because, one, he already knows the way I feel.  There is no reason to rub it in.  And, two, I don't want him to feel bad that I didn't make it.  After all, it isn't his fault.

I walked out of our room where I was talking to Marissa and into the living room where he sat on his computer.  I plopped down next to him with a big sigh.  He already knew what I was feeling.  He repeated his text, "I told you we could have tried to go.  You wait until now to want to try?"

"No, we don't have to try.  I understand.  I waited too long and it's too expensive."  I picked up my computer thinking 'I am just gonna check if there are cheap flights.  What if by some bizarre chance we could do it?  Crazy, but worth a try.'  As I was picking it up I glanced over to Var's computer to see what he was doing.  Expedia.com.  What?  He was already checking flights for me!  Now I might have a husband who is adamantly against celebrating Valentine's Day and rarely (if ever) brings home flowers, but that man loves me practically.  And I couldn't ask for a better way to be loved.

So we started our search.  We checked airline miles, Travelocity, Expedia, CheapTickets, Air France and for some reason Var checked out Lufthsana.  Now remember, this was Tuesday night.  I closed my eyes and said a little prayer.  Lord, if this is from you, make it a reasonable, doable price.  If not, please give me peace about not going and settle my heart.  

He found tickets for all three of us leaving Thursday (now just a day away) for about $1500.  Now, I don't know if you know much about international flights, but that is an incredible price.  While he was checking all the ins and outs of the ticket and confirming everything I was having a freak-out session via Twitter DM's with my dear friend Gina.  Honestly, I feel like God put here there to talk through things with me at that very specific point in time.  And it was a blessing.

the happy couple

So here I am.  In California.  Surrounded by friends and family and loved ones to celebrate my cousin's marriage and to rejuvenate my soul with the blessings that are these people to me.  God is so good and this is a gift from Him.  The wedding was a beautiful day and I can't wait to show you some pictures of the day.  As you can see, the bride was radiant and oh-so-happy to marry her man.

me and the bride

And, needless to say, Christie and I are going to have so much fun actually working together, like in person, getting ready for April re-launch!!  Oh, so much fun!

Have a great day and God bless!!

It's the little things

Aahhh the little things.  How easy they are to forget when we have so many big things that seem like they are right up in our face!  There are mounds of laundry to do, dinner to be made, jobs to be found, money to be had, you name it.  And those are all really legitimate 'big things.'  But sometimes the little things can brighten up your day.  Heck, even get you through a day.

Lately with Lavar gone it has been tough for me.  The two boys by myself.  And as much as my parents try to help, and they totally do, these aren't their kids.  They paid their dues and shouldn't have to be raising mine as well.  I know I get to see my husband in a couple weeks, but it is easy to focus on the non.stop.crying. that is coming out of Eli.  Or the non.stop.chatter. that is coming out of Tae.  Or the fact that they somehow, every day find something to ruin in my parents home.  It is quite easy to get frustrated and want to tell them both just to stop.  But I don't always think on how I am so blessed to have my babies.  I am so blessed that they are strong and healthy and here and they love me. 

So here's to the little things.  Which for me is truly enjoying my boys through the annoying-ness that they can be sometimes.  Truly seeing the beauty in this thing called Motherhood.  Truly seeing my blessings and counting them daily to remember how much God loves me. 

And to think, the love that I feel for these little guys that is indescribable. God loves them more.

Phew. Doesn't that take a load off?

I'm pretty sure they're in good hands.

Little shout-out to the hubby too.  Workin' his little bootie-patootie off for me and the boys.  Thanks babe!  And MAN I can't wait to see you!

I am linking up with Aisle to Aloha!  If you haven't checked out her blog yet, DO IT!  It is beautiful and fun and you will most definitely be inspired!

Life Altering

A little over a month ago I wrote about losing my cousin a year ago.  It was a very hard time and we as a family are still dealing with the loss to this day.  Obviously, this is not something that is just cured overnight.  Unfortunately yesterday, my other other cousin, Tyson's brother, was in a similar accident.  He is in very serious condition.  At this point he is stabilized and the doctors are 'cautiously optimistic.'  He has had his right hand up to his forearm and his right leg amputated.  The next few days will be crucial.

I was in Las Vegas with my husband when I got the call from my mom.  We were planning on going out for a nice dinner for my birthday.  Obviously this puts a damper on things, and we decided to come home.  I needed to see my babies.

Things like this put your life in perspective, don't they?  What are you living for?  Why are we here?  What is important to me?  I believe that God has a purpose for everything and although we might not fully understand why he chose to take Tyson from us last year or to allow this to happen to Timmy this year, we do know that He is in control.  He did choose to let it happen.  And all we can do at this point is pray that Timmy is okay.  Pray that the Lord can open our eyes to His will and purpose.  Pray for the doctors that they will have wisdom in his surgeries.  And pray for the families.

I know that religion is a touchy subject to some people, and I understand that.  I don't want to be a weird Christian person that pushes my religion on other people.  I do, however, believe that Jesus Christ is Lord and that he died for our sins so we can be with him in heaven.  I don't feel like I should have to cover that up or hide it, because this is a part of who I am.  And when something like this happens, I am thankful that I have that to lean on.  I know that no matter what happens in this crazy thing called life, I am in His hands.  I am taken care of.  And he loves Timmy, Tyson, Lavar, my kids, more than I do, more than I can imagine.  And boy does that make this a tad bit easier.

So if you pray, pray for my cousin.  Pray for the doctors.  Pray for the families, specially his wife and three kids who will be the most affected.  And then for his parents who lost their other son just last year.  Any support is so much appreciated, I can't even tell you how encouraged I am by your words.  Thank you so much.

Have a blessed day

We Won!

So this is kinda fitting seeing that I just wrote about being married to a basketball player yesterday.  I am sure all those girlfriends and wives of athletes can relate to this.  Their games are so much more than just a game.  Sure the crowd is cheering along and would love for them to win.  But if they don't, they go home and get on with their lives.  We, however, go home to a husband who is bummed out and having to think through how this affects his next week at 'work.'  I have heard of teams that get fined if they loose, but our coach's particular poison is practice.  If you loose, you practice harder and longer and more often.  Which means a very tired, worn out husband.  So winning takes on a whole new meaning to us women who live this crazy life.  And I have met a few in bloggy land. (hey guys!)

So last night was an incredible game.  They were playing the number one team in the leauge and were winning most of the time.  Then toward the end there were some guys who can't play defense (we won't call any names here *cough* jorge *cough* ben)  and of course my husband had to pick up the slack and fouled out.  So we are down by 2 with 14 seconds to go.  The ball is being passed around and everyone is stressed.  Especially me.  This entire time I am praying/thinking 'Okay Lord.  I know you can do this, I know you can get this win for us.  But I also know that if you don't, you are still a good and perfect God.  And why would you when in this entire stadium there are probably 4 people who might give you glory, myelf and Lavar included.  Why does this little game matter.'  And then I thought, 'maybe just to show you, Natalia.'  And then the ball was passed outside to Seb who had missed the last game winning 3 point shot, and BAM!  He hit it.  With 2.6 seconds to go he hit the short and we were up by 1.  WHAT!  Praise the Lord.  To seal the deal, someone got fouled and we won by 3.  It was like God spoke directly to me.  'I care about the things that matter to you, Natalia.  I care about the things that I gave you a passion for.  You matter to me.'  It was an incredible epiphany and I learned a valuable lesson.  Although God doesn't have to and won't always win games for us, He ultimately wants what is best for us.  And I feel like He thought it was best last night to give me a reassuring 'hug' in a sense of His ultimate, never-ending love.  And what a way to learn a lesson!

Sorry for the long post with no pictures!!  I wanted to take one and then got caught up in all the excitment.  But praise the Lord we won and Happy Easter to everyone!