So it's that time of year again. The time I drop off Lavar at LAX to go back to Europe and I am here with the boys. He is preparing for us so that it is comfortable when we get there. And for that I am thankful. It is, however, hard to be a single mommy for the times when he is gone. He does so well with the boys, they listen to him on a different level. It seems like they never test him, but somehow I have days where I end up on the floor crying from all the chaos that ensued.
But c'est ma vie, learning to adjsut as our life changes as it constantly does. We are heading back to France this year, same city we were last year, St Etienne. We don't know what house we will get or what area we will be in but he has a job and I am thankful for that!
This time of year always comes with different emotions, I can hardly explain it. It seems like everything about my life is bittersweet. I love being in California with my family and friends, I really do. I will miss everyone and the fact that it's all in English. Friends are so much easier to come by and Tae has quite a bit. But I adore France. I love the people and the culture and lifestyle. I just love it. As much as there is hard, there is great that makes it all worth it to me.
I am learning another language. I never thought I would be at the point to have a conversation with someone in their native tongue. How awesome is that!
I love being able to visit so many places that I otherwise would not be so fortunate to see. England, Switzerland, Italy, Paris, Bordeaux win country. And I can't wait to add to that list this year with Denmark, Sweeden, Nice, Cannes, and maybe Germany.
I love the slower lifestyle. I love that coffee and food is an art. I love that the smelliest cheeses are the best. I love walking Tae to school everyday and spending lunch together. I love basketball games and watching my husband do his thang.
I don't like not having my husband here. I don't like to struggle to find my words and think through everything I say. I don't like feeling intimidated to speak to someone as I am not yet entirely fluent in French. I miss having a church and other Christian moms to talk to about raising kids, marriage, and just life.
But, like I said, the good definitely outweighs the bad and I cannot wait to be back in France. It feels like home to me. I know it is going to be a sad day when Lavar stops playing. So I might as well live it up now!
So today I am thankful. Thankful that this crazy thing I call life is my life. I am thankful for the awesome opportunities that I have every year. I am thankful that the Lord has blessed my life in a way that fits for me and my family. I know living abroad might not work for everyone and that is understandable. But for us it's perfect.