Friday, April 15, 2011

My Life in France ~ The Back Story

Hello everyone!  How your day is treating you well.  I was thinking I would do a little series about what it is like to live in France, but I wasn't sure if it wouldn't bore people to death.  Then I got a little encouragement from a blogger friend and lots of wonderful feedback from our love story posted over At Love with Katie and I thought, you know what, I'll do it!  So come fly away with me!  Well not just yet, a little back story first, so just pack your bags. J  (if you read our little story at Katie's place, it might be a tad redundant, but bear with me!)
a visit to France before we were married, little dinner date at Buffalo Grill.  The French's version of BBQ.
I met my husband in college, second semester freshman year.  We liked each other immediately but didn’t actually officially start dating until our junior year.  We broke up a few months later because there were some people in Lavar’s life (his coach) who were not okay with our interracial relationship. But because we couldn’t get enough of each other, we got back together after that season.  They didn’t like it again, but could only control Lavar throughout the season (they threatened to take away his scholarship if we dated) we broke up again.  After that season we got back together and were good to go.  I always knew there was something different about this guy that I couldn’t get over.  I never was stuck on guys, but Lavar, he had me, dang it.  Turns out, I loved him, still do, and work hard to love him for the rest of our lives.
my first trip to France and up the EIffel Tower!

After we graduated college, Lavar got the opportunity to place overseas in a little town called St Quentin.  I didn’t speak a lick of French, nor had I ever been there, but I was super excited for him.  We stayed together throughout him leaving and I was able to visit him three times the first year.  Loved it. Love Paris (he lived an hour away), loved the little French houses (still do), and I loved the atmosphere.  In case you were wondering, I didn’t go with him.  I had made up my mind that I would never follow a man who wasn’t my husband, and that was that.  The summer after his first year we found out I was pregnant.  This is a whole other story, probably series (that I will probably never write), but I will tell you that it wasn’t planned and that was probably the hardest time in my life.  But praise the Lord, he watches us even when we don’t deserve it.  We got married in 2007, Tae was 4 months old, and a month later up and moved to France.  This time Brest, France in Bretange.
It's a boy!  Lavar was so proud...
I was so excited.  I was excited to be married, excited to be starting our new life and excited to be in another country (I like adventures!).  I had noooo idea what was comin’ for me.  Without too many boring details, it was hard.  We were newly weds, newly parents, interracial, intercultural, and living in a country that is neither of ours and a language that neither of us spoke.  Our first year of marriage was hard. But, thankfully, we both had made up our minds to love God and love each other before everything and we were able to pull through.  Not that marriage has been cake since then, but it was worth it, for sure.

My future husband signing autographs in St Quentin


So if you put up with my little story here and are actually interested in our life here in France, then stay tuned until next week!  And then you can come fly away with me! If you have any questions or are interested in anything specific put it in the comments or message me, I would love to hear about it!

22 comments:

Megan said...

what a great story!!! and i love that basketball is involved...i totally was a "balla" for most of my life ;-)

Stephanie {Luxe Boulevard} said...

You know what I find sweet about this? Your selflessness. You easily could have told Lavar that even though you were pregnant you weren't going to go to France; he would have to fly back in the off-season to see his baby. But clearly you recognized the opportunity Lavar had to play basketball--something I'm sure he loves--and you took a big risk to be there for him so that he could be there for his son. Wow!
Can't wait till next week!

BTW, sorry you two have had to endure so much criticism for your interracial relationship. How terrible is it that in the 21st century we are still dealing with that crap!

Nav said...

what a beautiful story - reminds me of the hardships me and Ryan had to go through to prove that our interracial marriage will work for more than 3 years! So I can totally understand the pressures you went through. i am proud of you and your family. I am so looking forward to things calming down once we get to be married and settle down next year. Wedding is 10 months away!

http://navlandstyle.blogspot.com/

marie said...

What a lovely beginning to your life together.
Marie

MiMi said...

I can't wait to hear it!!

J A C Q U E L I N E said...

I will be back! love to hear it! these pictures totally different celeb I will google and figure out his name and see what you think.

Megan said...

im totally enamored with your story. my ex bf of three years was african american. we lived in a predominantly middle-upper class white area. his mother, who is bi-racial (half black half white) hated white girls, and really dark black girls (so anyone that didnt look like her) we had such a hard time dating..would get strange looks from all types of people. I never even though twice about us being in an interracial relationship until other people made it clear..so unfortunate.

moving to another country as a young new couple is HARD. Collin and i had a rough year one..made it through, then moved to england, and approaching year three and to be honest its been a bit of a struggle living someplace foreign. cant even imagine it with the language barrier you have in france.

sorry for the epic novel. just relate to you, and wanted you to know that there are people out here in the blog world that get it.

xx

Kindra-At Home With K said...

Wonderful story. I was getting into it and then it ended, so I cant wait for the next installment. :) Thanks so much for sharing Natalia!

Sam @ The Junk House said...

Thanks for sharing! I can't wait to read the rest of it. I'm glad you guys didn't let anyone keep you apart (stupid coach!).

Cory said...

I've already told you how interested I am in your life, so just keep it coming, Natalia. Thanks.

Kristi said...

I loved hearing some of your story. The pictures were great...you both look so happy!
Can't wait to read the next installment! :)

Nicole said...

I love hearing about your "love story". So sweet! Sometimes things do not go as we had or others had "planned" but sometimes you make your own plan in life and that can bring many blessings! You are a beautiful family!

Lesley said...

I usually gag reading people tell their love stories but this was refreshing and so honest.
How terrible that you had to endure racism. Honestly, I can't imagine what goes through the heads of haters, but I am thrilled to hear that you both came out of it strong and more in love.

ropcorn said...

I love this post! You tell your story so well. I would love to hear more and will be back next week for sure! :p

Nav said...

I have tagged you on my blog! Check it out whenever you come by my blog. I also got your e-mail about the official invite for Linkiy parties - I have some projects in progress, will link up soon. Hope all is well.

http://navlandstyle.blogspot.com/

Marianne said...

I find it amazing that there is so much racism even today especially in the US. I can relate to moving to a foreign country although I did speak English before moving to the US I still had no idea of the cultural differences I would encounter being a young mother.
I have been here 5 years now and have not stopped missing my home country.
I would love to learn more about your experiences of living in France and can't wait to read the rest of your story.

Mrs. I {Heart} Hicks said...

I think you have an awesome story--what an adventure. I read all about you and previous posts. Girl, live it up with your cute little family in France while you can! Your blog serves as a great journal for your boys down the road. I got to celebrate my 25th b-day in Paris and loved it so reading about your life is refreshing!
Thanks for sharing.
www.ihearthicks.blogspot.com

Mary ♥ Mur said...

♥nice post.)) love your blog♥

JMay said...

This is such a sweet story, you two are so cute! :-) I lived in France for two years and so obviously I loved reading this! New follower!

http://jennymayandswede.blogspot.com/

Teresa Rose McClain said...

I'm so glad I get to read this. After being so close in high school it's like I get to catch up on what I missed of you after. :)

Those first years can be so rough. But God knows what He is doing. I totally needed that smack upside the head to realize that the fault was deeply rooted in my attitude and selfishness. And I could only change myself.

You're amazing friend!

inHERshoes said...

what a great story! somehow, it saddens me that people still think of interracial relationships like it's a sin. are we still in the 60's? you would think we have progressed by now. all my relationships have been pretty much interracial, and there isn't a particular race that i like - it's really based on the person and i'm always amazed about people from other cultures. i'm so glad that despite all the challenges, you guys have prevailed. let the haters suck it!

inHERshoes said...

p.s. i promise i'm not stalking you, LOL. but i just found out that you are from SoCal. holla! i'm from los angeles! okay, that's it. following your blog now. supporting my socal peeps!

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