A Belated Valentines Day Post

Well,  I will be honest, we are still kind of in a fog after Charley's surgery. It seems the more he heals the more miserable he is getting! So I am sitting here still in my pajamas watching Disney's Enchanted (what can I say, my son likes musicals!) and writing this post. 

Seems like and eternity ago that Joe and I enjoyed our Valentine's dinner! 

Do you remember voting on these?:

Well, the winning look was: Ensemble #3 with Hair and Makeup from #2. So that is what I wore on our Romantic night out!

We went to The Melting Pot, which is a fondu restaurant and it is REALLY yummy! 

We didn't get any full body shots because I forgot, and quite frankly I looked way better in this dress in the earlier photos I took. I had to stuff my pregnant body in this little size 4 and my ta-ta's were screaming to be let out! 

See what I mean!? I was risking total humiliation every time I moved my arm....Joe didn't seem to mind.

I am looking at these pictures and I am jealous of myself! This food was so delicious! 

So let this post be proof that I followed through with my Valentine's day "get out of my funk" challenge! And I thank you for participating in it! 

Martin Luther King Jr. Day

Have you ever thought about what exactly this day does mean?  Or what it actually means to you personally?  Do you think it affects you?  Well, for me and my family, it does.  Quite a bit actually.  Obviously for the better.  Let's chat a bit.

Can you imagine it?  I know there are movies and people that have experienced some serious racism, but for the white folk out there, can you even imagine it?  What blows my mind is that people thought it was okay!  People thought it was okay to act like they were better than someone else because of their skin color.  People thought it was okay to think that blacks were less than them, even less than human.  It blows.my.mind.  And the innocent 'let's all be happy' girl in me wants to act like people don't think that anymore.  Like we've moved on.  Or if I just turn my head, will it all go away?

But I can't turn my head.  I am married to black man who has experienced for himself first hand some of this ugliness that I speak of.  I actually have witnessed it a bit as well.  Nothing with calling names or abuse or anything as blatant as that, because let's be honest, who in their right mind would try to beat up my husband? :)  But with remarks and statements, it makes me really sad.

I do think, however, we have come a long way.  We don't experience as much racism as we would have maybe 20 or 50 years ago.  We are able to be happily married without too much from other people. (Our college dating story on the other hand... oohhheeee the racism!)  I think the biggest problem is ignorance.  People don't know how to act around my husband because he's different.  He's big and black and has an accent.  People like me are drawn to it, but there are people who are just plain scared of it.

But then, I have to think about my beautiful, mixed babies in this world.  How will people view them?  Honestly, I don't care if people see them as black or white or mixed or just plain gorgeous.  I care about who they are as men.  I also care about how people treat them.  One of my biggest worries when we move back to the states is that people won't know how to treat them.  They are interracial.  They are intercultural.  They speak another language.  They are huge.  They look different.  I hope and pray that the transition is easy and that the parents where we live are bringing up their kids to be loving and accepting to different.  To embrace them.

But my number one thing I want my boys to know if this doesn't happen.  It is OK.  Daddy loves you. Mommy loves you.  Most importantly, God loves you.  You do not, let me repeat, do not need these people's acceptance to know that you are loved.

So if Martin Luther King Jr. hadn't stood up for what he believed in, for what is right, would we be where we are?  Would I have married my husband?  Would I have my beautiful and oh-so-precious babies?  Praise the Lord I don't have to think about those scenarios because he did.  The course of history was changed for the better and I pray that it only continues to do so.

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day!

Our Love Story ~ Reader's Digest Version

I can't remember if I ever posted this here, but I thought I would do it anyway because if I did, it was long enough ago that a. you're a new reader or b. you forgot.  I won’t go into too much detail because that would be like a million part series, but I would love to share our Reader’s Digest version.  Let me tell you a little bit about us.  I was born and raised in southern California.  My husband, Lavar, was born and raised in Nassau, Bahamas.  We are different in so many aspects of our lives.  He grew up in a home that didn’t have running water until he was in college.  I grew up in an upper middle class white American family.  He has bullet wounds and a knife scar from growing up in a bad area.  I don’t know if I have ever seen a gun.  I tell you all these things because I want to show how love can prevail, no matter what family situation or what people think. 

Pics from our real wedding day

We met in college.  I cannot remember him for the life of me until our second semester and he remembers where I was standing, and what I was wearing the first time he saw me. J  I actually had to pay for our first date because I lost a bet.  Nice, Lavar. Nice.  We liked each other immediately but didn’t actually officially start dating until our junior year.  In the meantime, we dated other people, were friends, didn’t talk at all, and then back to friends.  When we did start dating, there were quite a few people that were not okay with it because it was interracial. We had a lot of people against us throughout our college career, which made things rather difficult.  We had to break up twice during his season because his coach, who was black, did not want him dating me.  We actually were not allowed to talk at all for those 3 or 4 months out of the year. (like whole other series for that)  I was never the kind of girl to get ‘stuck’ on a boy.  I didn’t let anyone get to me.  I think I have shed tears over maybe one other guy.  Lavar was the only one who I couldn’t get out of my head, no matter what.  Turns out, I loved him and haven’t stopped since!

First year of marriage

 After we graduated college, our relationship was so much easier.  We didn’t have anyone trying to tear us apart.  We got married two years later and then up and moved to France. Our wedding day was one of my favorite in my life.  So we have two races, two cultures, (thankfully one language), two upbringings, and living in a country that is neither of ours.  To say it was hard would be an understatement.  We have since learned more about each other and what it means to be married and think of others first.  By no means have we got it perfect and I'm gonna be real with you, we fight.  But we are learning more and more how to laugh things off.  One of my favorite sayings which pretty much sums up our relationship is this: Lavar’s pastor said this on our wedding day “Two cultures, two races, two countries, two people, ONE GOD.”    

And now we are a happy little family, with two monster boys living in France (eating me out of house and home) and enjoying life!  I hope you have enjoyed our little story! 


I am writing over here today about a few pieces of advice I had about long distance relationships.  ANd trust me, unfortunately, I am qualified.  Go check it out!

I hope it's the jet lag...

Well, as you know, we're here... I am having a little bit of a tough time adjusting.  Because although I put on a happy face and act like this is the coolest adventure ever, it's still hard.  

Sometimes I just want normal.  Sometimes I just want to be able to speak English.  Sometimes I just want a girlfriend to talk to.

I love my husband and all but he is a man.  Need I say more?   He doesn't always understand the craziness that goes on in my head.  

And poor guy, he tries to relate.  He tries to help.  But he just doesn't understand.

I am tired.  I don't want to leave the house.  I don't feel like talking to people because I don't want to speak French.  

It is 2:00 in the afternoon and I haven't brushed my teeth or changed out of my pajamas.  

Pathetic much?  Maybe a little.  

I am hoping that it is all just being tired.  That I will get that adventurous spirit back again.  

In the meantime, I am sharing some pictures from a recent family photo shoot we did because they are pretty. And my kids are cute.

My Marriage Advice

My husband and I are celebrating 4 looong, glorious years of marriage today.  And because 4 years of marriage is more than most Hollywood couples, I feel like I am qualified to give everyone marriage advice.  So here you go.  :)

1.) Wives, learn to cook.  Didn't your momma ever tell you the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach??  That's how I bagged my man! (seriously not. Could not cook when we first were married)

2.)  Be easy.  Now I know I am married to an islander, but just relax ladies!  Life will not always perfect and those fairytale-endings you read when you were younger aren't true!  Your prince may have come, but I am guessing he took longer to get here and has a little more junk in the trunk! (not to mention he probably doesn't have a castle!)

3.)  Keep things spicy.  I like to keep it real.  Few ideas for ya: surprise him by wearing his shirt when he comes home from work.  Read my post on how to pick him up from the airport.  Breakfast in bed.  Get a babysitter without telling him and let him come home to you wearing something... nice.  You get the idea.

4.) Just because he is quiet doesn't mean there is something wrong.

5.)  Sometimes it is okay for you to be quiet.  Even if the only person you have talked to all day is a 4-year-old who repeated the same questions 50 times. 

6.)  Be respectful.  Men dig respect.  And I don't mean like bow every time he walks in, but respect his choices in the house. 

7.) LAUGH!  At yourself, at him, at your kids.  Keep things light, it helps keep fights to a minimum.

8.) Most importantly (for me at least) look to yourself first.  It isn't always easy, but before blaming and getting angry at him, try to see what you might have done and try to work on yourself.  After all, you can only control your own actions!

Well, that's all I got.  Maybe in another 4 years I will have 8 more things to tell you!  Love your man, ladies!

Var, I know it isn't always easy, and I might drive you crazy sometimes, but thank you for sticking with it and always trying to be better.  Here's to another 4 looong years.  Love you!

Little Tip to Keep Things Spicy...

Happy Wednesday! So I know these pictures don't look like they have anything to do with the title of this post.  And they don't.  They are just of an outfit I wore to the baby shower I created these beauties for.  You'll have to read on to get my marriage tip, 'how to keep it spiiiicy.' I was happy with this outfit because it was out of my comfort zone.  Flowy skirt with a long sweater. And the skinny belt with the cool little knot in front!  I was proud of myself.  And a friend from high school was there, who I consider very beautiful and fashionable, and she loved it! She even asked me how I tied my knot.  I felt so cool!
And as you all know, my husband came in Monday night from being gone for four weeks.  It stinks that he is gone so long, but that is part of our life right now.  Soooo, to make sure that we are 'keepin; it real'  I made sure to give him a little surprise.  You know, let him know I'm glad he's back.
I showed up at the airport with 5 inch heels, a huge trenchcoat cinched with a belt (totally cute, by the way), wearing nothing but simple little lingerie underneath. And after a long flight and a long time away from wifey, he likes to know I care enough to make it special for him, even though we have kids.  I am pretty sure that wifey of the year goes to me, considering I got 'is this hooker really standing here in the airport?' stares while I waited.  (totally kidding, I wasn't unmodest at all, I was just 6'5" in those heels!) Have any of you ladies done something a little crazy like me to make your husband feel special?  No hate mail, please!  I would post a picture to prove how not-risque it was, but I didn't take one, like usual... Hope you all have a beautiful Wednesday.  We are loving us some family time, the boys are so happy to have daddy home. 

I {heart} my husband

I saw this post over at Alexandra Rose and I just had to participate.  I don't talk a lot about my husband, but he deserves it.  He is my best friend and my number one fan.  And I haven't seen him in almost a month and I am kinda missin' him...

Now marriage is hard to begin with.  Now add another race.  How about another culture?  Yep, tougher.  Now add a third country that belongs to neither of us.  hmmmm... Now add another language and tons and tons of rain.  And then, just for good measure, throw in a 5 month old baby.  Now that is tough.

This was mine and Lavar's first year of marriage.  But we stuck it out and we are still hanging in there.  I wanted to dedicate a post to him today.  Because I miss him!  And he never reads this blog, so I can be extra sappy.  :)

This is my husband:

Dear Lavar,

You are the most awesome man I know.

I know that you don't beleive in soul mates and that is fine.  We will just stick with the 'no one else could handle you' theory.

You make me laugh like I never thought I could.  I always have the time of my life when I am with you.  I wish you would let other people see the funny side.  They all think I am crazy when I say 'no really, he is funny!'

ps. I was 15 weeks pregnant in the costume picture!

We haven't had anything easy.  Nothing handed to us.  That is how we know it is real.  We worked our butts off to stay in it.  No turning back now!

But I have never felt more secure in your love.  Thank you for never giving me a doubt.  

You might not always say the words 'I love you' or 'You're beautiful' but I know you believe them.  And because I know you, I don't need to hear them all the time.

Your theory: "I told you I loved you when I married you.  I will let you know if it changes!"  

(He is not that harsh, it is kinda a joke/kinda true!)

(Your son can give you a few pointers on the beautiful comments, FYI) 

You are an excellent father.  We didn't expect it when it came, and we had adjustments to make, but we did.  And I know you would lay down your life for your boys. 

 You work you little pa-tootie off for us.  Yes, you are living the dream, playing your favorite sport for a job, but I know it is hard work.  And you still find energy to come home and be a 'family man.'  Who woudda thunk, huh?

You clean up nice too...

Not to mention, we look good together...

No one said you were perfect, I married you eyes wide open.  But you work every day to be a better man, a better husband, and a better father.  I really couldn't ask for more!

And to top it all off, we created these little monsters.

Well done Simmonses!  Well done!

And just because I can...

They would both kill me, but neither of them read my blog. Their loss! LOL  At at 80's party a few years back.